Emma moments: without missing a beat

Wow

Do you know the story "Lily's Purple Plastic Purse" by Kevin Henkes? Emma received it for Christmas, and it is our new favorite story. Throughout the story each character has a line that reads: "'Wow.' That was just about all he/she/they could say: wow."



Well in early January we received a shockingly, sickeningly huge bill. We knew it would be bigger than normal, but had no idea exactly how big it could possibly be. Scott opened and shared the details with me. I was reading a magazine on the couch; Emma was playing on the family room floor.



I said, "WHAT? That can't be right."



Scott repeated the information verbatum from the piece of paper.



Stunned, I said quietly, "Oh. WOW."



Scott said, "Yeah. WOW."



Emma said, without missing a beat, "Wow. That was just about all they could say. Wow."

Without Grandma?

In December and early January Emma and I visited several retirement/independent/assisted living facilities near our house. Some of them are quite grand and Emma receives a cookie or popcorn at almost all of them. After visiting the most fabulous facility of all Emma said, "Mommy, can WE live in that place someday?"



I said, "No honey. It's for people who are much older. We were checking it out to see if it might be a good place for PaPa (Scott's dad) to live in case he moves to California."



Without a second of hesitation Emma replied, "But he can't move to California without Grandma Dee Dee." She paused and then said, "She's REALLY sick ---- you know?"

Without Grandma cont'd.

I took that conversation as an opportunity to finally discuss death. I responded, "I know. Emma, you know sometimes people get seriously sick. It's not just a bad cold or a stomach flu. [We crossed this bridge when Scott had a bad, bad cold right after Christmas and she thought he was going to get sick like her Grandma.] We call it "being ill" - remember? And sometimes when people are very very ill, they don't get better. Sometimes they die."

I paused a long pause and then asked, "Do you have any questions or thoughts about this?"

Emma said, "No."

I assured her she can always ask me or tell me if she thinks of anything else.

Princess Cupcake

The Thursday before Dee passed away, I picked Emma up from school. As we buckled into the car seat she said, "Mommy Princess Cupcake died."

I asked, "Who is Princess Cupcake?"

Emma explained, "She's our Room 4 guinea pig that mostly sleeps unless we're feeding her. And she died." [Oh - yeah the guinea pig - duh, Mommy.]

I said, "Oh."

A few days later, we were in the kitchen. Emma asked, "Mommy what's way, way, WAY up in the sky, past the clouds and the stars and the planets?" I was confused. Did she mean solar systems, galaxies? We had just been to Griffith Observatory and enjoyed the fabulous 3-D displays there. Besides she could point to a picture of a galaxy and say "GAL ax Y" since she was 2. So I start re-explaining space and that no one has travelled out past all of that, and then it hit me. Heaven. (stupid mommy). Not that we had never discussed Heaven, but I had never attached a geographical or astrological location to it.

So I asked, "Do you mean Heaven?"

Emma said, "Yes. That is where Princess Cupcake is."

I said, "Oh." Hmm....they must have discussed this in Preschool. Ok - well I can go with that for now. "Oh - well I'm glad Princess Cupcake went to Heaven."

Grandma Dee Dee and Princess Cupcake

Sunday night Scott called me to say he had just been sitting with his mom and she finally stopped breathing. Monday morning Emma and I snuggled in bed, and when we were both finally awake, I decided to break the news.

"Emma, I have something I need to tell you. Daddy called on the phone last night to say that Grandma Dee Dee died." I paused. "Did you want to ask me any questions?"

Emma, without skipping a beat, said, "No, but I'm thinking something else."

I said, "Really? What?"

Emma said, "Well now Grandma Dee Dee is with Princess Cupcake. That's good. She won't be so all alonely now. She can give her food there."

Honesty

The morning of Dee's memorial service I was just about ready to go. I asked Emma, "How do I look?"

She said, without skipping a beat, "Well.........OK.......but, your legs look a little bit fat."

I thought this was pretty hilarious, especially considering that the skirt I was wearing was brand new and was part of a set of clothes I bought last month because I am FINALLY my pre-pregnancy pants size.

Later at the service, she was sitting on my lap. When we had explained what would happen at the memorial service, she had said, "I want to talk too." She wanted to explain about Princess Cupcake and Grandma Dee Dee. And to say the Grandma Dee Dee made her feel "snuggly." Scott and I decided to take the risk and let her do it. But, we made her practice first. So - she was sitting on my lap. She asked about the order of service. I explained that it would be Aunt Pippi, then me, then Emma then Daddy.

She asked, "Is yours long or short?"

I looked down at my typed manuscript. "Ummm....long."

She said, "Well, then I better go first."